before neone read this.....its a very hateful entry.....if u notice i use fuck ten times. and knowing me....yeah that means im mad.

omg....my dad is hella fucking dumb. oh yeah, i used the f-word, im pissed off. my darling father made reservations to go up north to the redwoods for three nights. not bad right? nooooo........very baaaaad. he made them DURING TENNIS TRYOUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LAST THREE DAYS OF TRYOUTS! and he tells me AFTER he makes them. i mean...what IS that????????? out of five days i can only go for two days. and of those two days the first day is total crap. cuz it's like collecting forms, talking about practice...all that shit. there is NO way i can make varsity like this!!!!!!!!!! cuz tryouts week is when the coaches separate ppl they cut, jv, and varsity. and once the season starts ppl get moved aruond, but that's WITHIN varsity or jv. ppl dont get moved from JV TO VARSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll be there for one day of REAL tryouts, but the varsity potentials will be there the whole week. so the coach will see THEM not me. and i SUCKED last season. not to sound conceited, but i hella improved. and i want the coaches to see that and guess my roundabout rank.

so i'm telling my dad that i need to be on tennis. and he says "colleges dont care about some high school sport." wth right? then i tell him yes they do and it needs to be varsity. and he says "well then just be on jv and put varsity on ur college app". im thinking u can't fucking lie on ur college app. and he thinks i didnt tell them about tennis tryouts. i was about to throw a fucking pillow at his head. i told them SOOOOOOOOOOO many times about tryouts. i wrote it on the fucking calender. but they dont listen!!!!!!!! why??????? cuz they're hella dumb. my parents...they dont give a SHIT unless it's about school. they dont care about what i do in interact or my tennis. today my dad asks, why do u still do community service if ur done with ur hours? i mean not only is that the 100th time he's asked that....but how do i explain that? "because i have a fucking heart, that's why". i mean damn......after two years of interact he doesnt know

so far im mad cuz my tennis tryouts are screwed and all. but i get home from tennis and it gets UGLY. i appeal to mom and she thinks we should just not go. why go if im pissed, it wont be fun. she does have a poiint....but to my dad. that is ULTIMATE BULLSHIT. this is a SUPER condensed version.

dad: everything u ask i say yes but suddenly i ask for a vacation and u dont want to go?
dad: a family doens't work like that...everything for u positive and everything for me is negative. NO.
at this part i am so amused im trying to keep from laughing. i just have a bemused expression on my face.
dad: when have i ever said no for u to do nething?
dad: never. when u went with ashley to vacation i let you
im thinking....yeah, after serena and my mom suckered u in
dad: if u dont go this time that's fine, but from now on everything u want to do i'll say no. EVERYTHING u ask from now on will be a negative
here im thinking....BULLSHIT! ur bark is worse than ur bite...u never enforced that "u can only go out once a week" rule.
dad: i never wanna hear u talk about not going or ur tennis ever again. ur going, that's it. i dont give a shit about ur tennis.
mom: do w/e u want. i dont care nemore
im thinking...i WOULD do that but if u haven't noticed im being forced to go.

im so fucking pissed. right now it's morre than just missing tryouts. its

1)missing tryouts
2)his fucking unreasonableness
3)how he takes NO interest in my life and doesn't understand it
4)how fucking controlling he is
5)and how he fucking doesnt give a damn....doesn't listen.....nothing.

im sooooo pissed. i tried to reasonable. told him i would go.....i wanted to. but the timing was wrong. and he cant change it. week after i start schoo. the week before they're in l.a. and omg he thinks i dont wanna go just cuz id rather be home.....omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's just the fucking timing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shiiiiiiiiit. im hellllla mad. if i dont make varsity OR get the coffee job i dont know what ill do....later days.