got back my english essay today. 88 percent. when i got it, i felt so let down. i KNOW it's not a bad grade. im not a xin or helen, so i know 88 isn't bad. i just wanted ONCE to get an A on one of wallach's essays, even if it was a 90. it seemed like i hadn't improved the WHOLE year. cuz the WHOLE year i've been getting B pluses on the essays, without any sign of improvement. for my essays, the comment he ALWAYS puts is "i am impressed with ur subject choice. it was very difficult to write about and u did a good job, but..." holy crap, im thinking "STOP BEING IMPRESSED AND GIVE ME AN A!!!" hahaha. anyways, i was feeling kinda bummed, but i went in anyways after school to talk to him about it and i came out feeling pretty damn snazzy.

*side note: my dad is cussing like a madman in the kitchen.*

i obviously went in to talk to Wallach about my essay so that i could figure out my mistakes and improve for next time. the second, less obvious reason, was cuz he's like such a good self-esteem booster. haha. that sounds so lame. but really he is. he just told me a bunch of stuff how the reason i pick complicatd subjects is because that's how my mind works, and that's the stuff that interests me. if i pick easier topics then im not learning, and even though i may get 88 percents on harder topics, i'm learning more. he told me that change is gradual and i wont see the improvement in my essay grades, i'll see it in my future writing, and my thought processes.

i dunno. wallach just makes you feel good about your writing and yourself. and it's not like he says this awe-inspiring stuff. he just tells you how it is flat out. and u can tell he's not bull shitting to try to make you feel good cuz he's not like that. and that's pretty freaking cool for a teacher to do that.

what else? um....yesterday i reached my ULTIMATE peak of stupidity. i had the sn for a frigging DAY. ONE day. i had it for 24 hours and i was already going online like every five minutes checking for it. and it's not even a sure 6121154 yet! whooo...being pathetic is so funny. hahahaha.