i've developed a sudden urge to run. it's crazy. ever since track season has started all i can think about is running....and im not even on the track team. i heck of wish i could join track......dang play. don't get me wrong i'm excited about guys and dolls, i just wish i could join track also.

i haven't actually had real, constant exercise for a year and a half. i know, it's bad. it's cuz i didn't join tennis last year, so the last time i was really pushed to work out was tennis season junior year. and that was eons ago.

i feel like such a fatass. now before all you freaking-out-type-people start freaking out, let me clarify that i don't think im fat. in fact, my legs are very chopstick-ish. (translation: they're too skinny and need to beef up). i get beyond annoyed when heck of pretty and heck of skinny girls (like ester) say they're fat. see, ester is really hott (with a double t), AND she has a nice body.......YET she's always talking about how fat she is and how she needs to lose weight. (i don't know how often ester reads my blog.......so ester if you're reading this entry don't kill me. i love you with all my heart. i just think you're heck of skinny and you need to stop saying you're not). so anyways, back to my point. i'm not a hypocrite.

i don't feel like running to lose weight. i feel like running because i haven't exercised for AGES, and running makes me feel good. yes, it does. i think that really hit me when i was running from the gate back to the cabin (during the ski trip) with rahul. even though that run was like one foot (well, a little longer than that, but it wasn't very far), i felt really good. that might partly be because we were in the mountains, there was all this snow around, and all these pretty green trees lining the road.......the scenery made it a really refreshing morning run. so during the run i got this total adrenaline rush and i felt as if i could run forever (although in reality i probably would've copped out after a mile and a half).

i've temporarily forgotten the point of this entry.

ah yes........i feel like a lazy fatass. and running makes me feel good about MYSELF. i mean it'd be nice if i could get in shape and all, but that isn't the point (nor is losing weight). i need to be fit. i need to exercise. i should've died about six months ago from lack of exercise.

conclusion: i should run. why? because i feel good after running. why? cuz running releases endorphines. damn, gotta love those endorphines. running is such a good release of energy. and Lord knows, i have a lot of pent up energy. i think that's the reason why my leg shakes a lot while i'm just sitting. it's because i can't sit still. I have this energy that im being forced to release through leg-shaking. that just doesn't cut it. ahhhhh...precious endorphines, how i long for thee.

so why don't i just put on some exercise clothes and go running? CUZ I DON'T HAVE AN EFFING CAR (nor do i drive, but even if i did drive i still wouldn't have a car. so in the end the problem is that i don't have a car). i mean, i could run around my block and the centerville community park, but let's face it.....that's lame as hell. or i could run around the centerville junior high track. but oh wait, that's even lamer. i don't wanna run in effing circles. i want to run around the lake. i want scenery. i want to be around other people that are running. i used to play tennis at the centerville community park, and i've often wondered why there were people running around this tiny baseball field. it puzzled me. i questioned their sanity. j/k, i didn't do that last part.

well i suppose if i'm that desperate to run, i should be able to do it anywhere. well, i'll see if can run at lake elizabeth this weekend. and if i can't, i'll see how long i last before i kill myself (with a saucepan) for not being able to run. and then i'll run around my neighborhood.

ok, i think i've wasted a sufficient amount of time with this entry.