I have hella work to do tonight still. Reading, essay writing, and Customs stuff. But I feel so drained of energy, and for lack of a better word...icky.

Question: Are sore throats supposed to deprive you of energy or is it just a mental thing? Is it because I know I'm sick so I think I'm tired and I don't feel well or am I actually tired and not feeling well. I can't tell.

I don't like putting off work even if it's for the betterment of my health because the work will eventually catch up to me and I'll be screwed. I have to do it eventually and I dont want it to all pile up. roar.

Play rehearsals start tomorrow. Oh, that's one thing I forgot to mention. I'm in the Bi-Co (Haverford and Bryn Mawr) Theater Festival. The theater festival is basically a bunch of one-act plays all student directed. I auditioned for the theater festival last week, and the play that I got cast in is called "The Adventures Of.." Not only is this particular play student directed but it is also student written. Snazzy, huh?

I hope I wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and non-icky. Yeah that last word really killed the whole sentence.

Long time no update...guess there's not much to say.

My first paper is due this Friday. Ack.

Chinese New Year was good. I had about three Chinese New Year dinners over the past week. MMMmmMMM good.

The weather has definitely been really nice.

I got new stuff for my room. Nothing matches. How asian.

Question: Are free lobes or attached lobes the dominant trait? (Ear lobes, that is)

I'm pretty sure this is what my classes for this semester will be...

Chinese (6hrs/wk)
Community, Race, and Xenophobia in Theater and Film (This is my Writing Seminar. All freshmen have to take one. 3hrs/wk)
American Politics: Difference and Discrimination (3hrs/wk)
Material Religion in America (3hrs/wk)

I was going to take a fifth class (Fundamentals of Acting) since I'm strongly considering minoring in theater, but my teacher advisor strongly advised me against taking 5.5 credits. And after some long and careful thought I decided against it also. I'll most definitely be taking 5 classes fall semester of Sophomore year though, one of which will be a theater class.

Ack, I might not see the light of day this semester. All my classes except Chinese are hella reading and writing intensive. Oh, and I also got a third job working at Skeeters (cafe food type place) on Saturday nights. And I'm also applying for this Social Medicine Seminar. Oh dear....I wonder how I'll fare this semester.

Nap time before my religion class.

Back in Philly. Currently at my sister's apartment. Waiting for her to come back from running errands so that I can be dropped off at school.

I spent six and a half hours at the Denver airport yesterday. My flight left San Jose at 8am, and I landed in Denver at 11:30 for my connecting flight to Philadelphia. But, when I got to my gate I found out that they had overbooked the flight and were asking for volunteers to go on the later 4:40 flight...and they would give those volunteers a free round trip ticket to be used anywhere, anytime in the U.S. I didn't fancy spending four more hours at the airport, but at the expense of saving $300 I volunteered. Lucky me, because of the shitty-ass weather my flight got pushed back until 6:00. I wasted six and a half hours of my life sitting at the Denver airport. To its credit, it really is a very nice airport. Lots of places to sit and relax, stores and restaurants galore, and many cool moving walkways. Have you ever tried walking in the opposite direction on those things?

So what did I do with my last night in Fremont? CRANIUM! (with Nikker, Jenny, Steven, Daveed, Michelle, and Alan). Before cranium, I went to Alan's house to see Marlon and Nemo and play with his bebe guns. COOL. Bebe guns are fun. I want =D.

I can't believe I start school tomorrow. Yeah, I don't get MLK day off. I need another day to relax.

Wind is blowing hella hard outside. Weather is not warm (duh).

I want to build muscle. I'm too weak and fragile. I was thinking of this yesterday when I was walking outside and felt like the wind was going to lift me off my feet.

I want to Cranium again.

I hear my sister coming up the stairs. Time to head back to Haverford. []Deace out.

I had such a cool dream last night. There was a lot of gun fighting, screaming, and bleeding going on. This dream had many different scenes, not all of which I remember. However, I do remember running around a lot in a university building. Most of the running took place in overly large bathrooms. One part of the dream that I remember most vividly was a bunch of people (me included) sitting against a wall holding guns. We were playing a game. The objective of the game was to shoot as many people as you could when the buzzer sounded. I guess the ultimate objective would be to kill the most people, but no one ever died. I got shot in the head quite a few times, my ear fell off, and I was bleeding profusely from the side of my head, but I never died. It was painful as hell, but for some reason I always recovered to play in the next round...except this one time I was hit so badly (this was when my ear fell off) that I just lay on the ground with my hand pressed to the side of my head (so that I wouldn't bleed to death) writhing in agony. Yeah it sucked.

I attribute this exciting, yet gory, dream to the fact that I watched 6-7 hours of Alias yesterday. It was great. I wasted an entire day of productivity, but I was able to finish the first season. I forgot how good the first season was. Everything kept you on the edge of your seat, corny moments were kept to a minimum, and Vaughn was still alive so I could admire his gorgeous face. I really want the second season on dvd now. HA, I don't know if that would be good for me considering I start school in a week, and it would seriously detract from my studies. Maybe over the summer I'll pursue watching the second season.

This past weekend I was up at Davis with Alan, Steven, and Danny visiting all of our wonderful friends. It was great fun. Much love to Daveed, Nick, and Moriaki for providing lodging for me in their suite. Here are a few things I learned from this trip:
1. Everything smells like cow.
2. Bikes can be extremely overwhelming.
3. Pocky is sold at Albertsons.
4. White shirts should be kept handy in case you go to a highliter party because w/o it a crazy girl might just write on your chest and you might just feel violated.
5. Egyptian war is hella intense.
6. Drinking 5 bottles of water will result in you peeing once every five minutes.
7. Pouncing on people will give you a nasty bruise on your shin.
8. Humans are the only species to drink another species' milk.
9. Boys are obsessed with games. And by that I mean Alan is in love with Dota.
10. I become very open when under the influence of...stuff.

Most people are back at school by now. I'm basically spending my last week at home with the parents. I haven't been going out much, but it's nice since I have a lot of stuff to catch up on....namely practicing my Chinese characters so I'm not screwed when school starts. But, at the rate I'm going, I'm doomed for screwage anyways. I should get cracking on those characters now. []Deace out.

Ew, I picked up the phone today and this is what happened...

Me: Hello?
Guy on the other end: Hi, may I speak to Jian Wu? (my dad)
Me: He's not home right now; may I take a message?
Guy: Are you his wife?
Me: No
Guy: Are you his daughter?
Me: No
Guy: You sound cute, but I can't hit on you
*Guy hangs up*

What...the...hell...

I think "gross" sufficiently sums up that ordeal.

A year in review...
Find the first entry for each month of 2005, and post the first sentence of it in your journal.

January: winter break has been extremely fun.

February: RANT....grawrg. what's wrong with my dad.

March: my day sucked. i haven't cried in a long time. put me in cement.

April: DC meeting yesterday......we were missing a LARGE amount of people. humph.

May: I went to my FIRST cotillion last night.

June: I have too much fun with JP…

July: I guess I should blog briefly about graduation and Grad Nite.

August: I'm learning to crochet.

September: This song is freaking awesome (the song was Photograph by Nickelback)

October: My two apartment-mates turn 18 today.

November: I wasn't able to go trick-or-treating on Halloween because I had to study like mad for my Chinese test that night, and I had to catch up for work I didn't do on Sunday when I went to the Switchfoot concert.

December: (picture update of my apartment)

New Year’s Eve was fun. It was a sober night for me, but it was better that way. Dinner in Union City (Korean soft tofu is so freaking good. I died and went to heaven)…BART to SF Union Square…saw pretty lights…BART to Embarcadero…watched fireworks from the Ferry Building…a lot of banging (sexy, I know) going on while taking BART back to Union City…went to Denny’s…came home and went to bed around 5am. And there was my New Year’s Eve in a nutshell. I’m glad I rung in the new year with someone special <3.

The night before (Dec.30^th) was a party at Nick’s house. I think I have to sort of admire boys for playing games for hours on end. I guess it’s sort of impressive. So Nick’s parties could potentially be really boring for me since I don’t play games, but I always have fun because I think I find ways of entertaining myself. And Mario Kart is there to save me if I fail.

I suppose I could do a reflection on 2005….

The first thing that comes to mind when looking back on 2005 and how I’ve changed is my faith. I definitely think I’ve grown a lot. Make no mistake, I still have a lot of growing to do (A LOT) but I’ve gained more insight and perspective. Before Christianity was just a bunch of rules and regulations, and it was something I believed in just because. Now I’m starting to search for the reasons why and the reasons for certain things. The more I look the more I find I don’t know, and even more questions pop up. But it’s something that I still plan on actively pursuing in 2006 and hopefully I’ll become stronger and more grounded. Oddly enough, this growth I’m talking about happened in the last three and a half months I was at college because I never went to church in high school and didn’t really belong to a Christian community. I still followed my faith, but I didn’t actively pursue it. Here I really have to be thankful for my wonderful friend JoeChai who has truly been there for me as a spiritual friend. Much love.

When 2005 rang in I was a high school senior, and now that it’s 2006 I’m a college freshman. Going to the East Coast for college was definitely one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made. And I don’t regret it at all. I’ve always been a really independent person, and I had always dreamed about going to school on the East Coast but when it came down to really making the decision I found myself running away from that independence and running closer to home. I’m still surprised I actually dug up the guts to go cross-country for college. When I made that decision I only half-knew what I was getting into. I was just praying for the best. Oddly enough, I was never homesick which is a good thing because I hate wallowing in my own misery. Now that I look back on this semester I’m thinking, “Holy shiz. Did I really just get through my first semester of college thousands of miles away from home?”

I also started 2005 without a boyfriend, and now I’m happily starting 2006 with Patrick. With him (like with college) I only half-knew what I was getting into. My last long distance relationship didn’t work out, and I was wary of starting anything my senior year. I was also warned against starting anything, but obviously that didn’t do anything (guess the bubble didn’t work out, huh?). Most people don’t know this, but I’m extremely scared of commitment and being tied down and having my independence restricted. And certain people think I’m extremely fickle, which could be debatable but I admit it has some truth to it. So holding this relationship for this period of time (I don’t know how long so don’t ask) is an achievement for me.

Maybe only one person will fully appreciate that paragraph up there (it’s not Patrick; it’s a certain half-relative of mine), but that was a big deal for me because I never talk about my relationships to friends, online journals, stuffed animals, creepy insects, or anything else, and now I just wrote a reflective paragraph about it in my blog. WTF is wrong with me. But I wrote it and now I don’t want to erase it, although I am tempted to do so.

I’ve definitely become more open with my feelings throughout this year. That’s not to say I wear my heart on my sleeve now because I still guard my feelings and don’t share a lot of things, but it’s becoming easier for me. Ok now I feel like I’m sharing too much on this blog. I’m going to stop. It’s scaring me, so I’m going to make a crazy tangent to divert everyone’s attention from the top secret information I just disclosed.

TODAY I WENT TO BERKELEY WITH SLAVA AND OMED. WE WALKED AROUND TELEGRAPH AND GOT GELATO. OMGOODNESS I LOVE GELATO SO MUCH. I HAVE A CERTIFICATE FOR A FREE BANANA SPLIT AT BASKIN ROBBINS. I HAVE TO USE IT BEFORE I GO. DAVIS PEOPLE LEAVE TODAY, AND THAT MEANS MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO BE GONE. THIS SADDENS ME. I DON’T WANT TO START SCHOOL. I CAN’T IMAGINE BUCKLING DOWN AND GOING TO CLASS AND STUDYING AFTER ALL THE FUN I’VE BEEN HAVING THIS BREAK. AND PLUS MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS SO FUCKED UP. THESE PAST TWO DAYS I’VE SLEPT AT 5AM. IT’S RIDICULOUS I KNOW. AND TONIGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SLEEP AT 11PM, BUT I GOT CAUGHT UP IN REFLECTING ON 2005.

Ok, I think that was a sufficient enough diversion.

There's a lot of people I haven't kept in touch with, but I could’ve predicted that before. It hasn't come as some great surprise to me. I know who my close friends are. I know what friends I can talk to and trust the most. That’s not to say the only friends I have are those I would trust my life with. No ‘course not. Life wouldn’t be fun that way. But I’ve definitely grown closer to a lot of people and fallen out of a lot of friendship. And I’m happy to say that DC+2 is still here and going strong. I <3 you guys.I’ve also found that I don’t keep as many superficial friendships anymore. I used to be extremely social, always making new friends. I still love meeting new people, but I’m not as enthusiastic now as I was before. I prefer to work on my close friendships and improve those relationships than start new ones. Acquaintances aren’t as important to me anymore. And this may sound mean, but if I meet someone and don’t feel as if there’s potential for a closer friendship I don’t put as much effort into the relationship. I’m still friendly and all, but I don’t commit a lot of energy or effort. Hm, I guess you could say I became more realistic and cynical in 2005. In a way it’s good because I don’t like believing in superficial things and then being let down later on, but at the same time I want to be able to meet people and just have fun with them and not expect anything more. Because honestly, friendships are hard work, and sometimes I just want friends with no real attachments to hang out with. (That sentence was a fragment I know. It’s 2am and I’ve been typing for a long time and I’m tired and I don’t care).

So after I typed that fat paragraph what conclusion have I come to? I would like to say I’m satisfied with my friendships, but I’m really not. I do have a couple really close friends, but I also need to put more effort into my existing friendships. I really do. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve been a very good friend to a lot of people this year. I could apologize but that doesn’t do anything, so I’m not going to do it. I don’t want to waste my breath, my words, or my emotion. It’s unnecessary. I know what I have to do, and I should just do it.

There is more reflection to be done, but I’m getting a little bit tired so I’ll do the rest of it in my head.

I don’t make new years’ resolutions because I always forget about them. But I do have a goal for this year. Well more like this semester: STUDY HARDER. I gotta get more motivation. Honestly, this past year I didn’t do a hell of a lot of studying. I mean, it was second semester senior year and first semester of freshman year. I had too much playtime this past year. I gotta buckle down now.

Oh I have one more goal: eat better and exercise more. College is bad for my health and I have to get back into shape.

Oh I just thought of another goal. I need something to drive me. I need purpose. I need something that motivates me. In high school Interact did all of that. Especially senior year, being Lt.Governor made senior year worth it. But now in college I feel like all I have is school and that’s not enough. Academics aren’t enough to hold my attention and keep me interested. I need something bigger, something more to gee through it all. God, I miss Interact so much. I miss Rotary. I feel so disconnected. At the risk of sounding melodramatic I feel like a part of me is missing. INTERACT I LOVE YOU. HA, I know I’m a freak and I don’t care. YOU CAN KISS MY INTERACT-LOVING ASS. Now I really don’t know what I’m saying because I’m seriously getting tired. But speaking seriously now (and I definitely know what I’m saying here) I think I need to move on from my Interact glory days. I feel like I’m looking for something in college that matches up to Interact but nothing can really do that. I’m on a whole different playing field now. I’m not an Interactor anymore. I’m not on DC, and I’m not Lt.Governor. I gotta start from the bottom now. Gotta find something and work my way up. I do miss that passion…that fire I had for Interact. It was so great. HAHA Interact is like my lover. No, it’s not LIKE my lover. It IS my lover. I HAD A FOUR YEAR LONG LOVE AFFAIR WITH INTERACT, AND I’M NOT ASHAMED. Ok, I’m moving on. Starting now. Now.

Cheers to 2005. (Omgoodness, this entry was long. I have never reflected so much on a year before. Shit, I was supposed to sleep three hours ago. I’m not doing this again. Next year, I’ll just do a survey).