Dissatisfied with so many things right now. And most of it isn't within my control to change. Maybe there isn't even anything TO change and I'm making mountains out of molehills. My thoughts have been really consuming me lately. I guess this would be one of those times to "let go and let God," huh? There's a lot of things I want to say to people and sometimes I play the conversation I would have with them in my head. But I don't go through with it because I'm scared that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and I don't want to turn them off. And then things just bottle up until days like today when everything reaches a climax and I feel like having an outburst. And in my case since I don't like confrontation an outburst just means being sullen and annoyed. There are a lot of things in my life that I'm not happy with. All in all, this semester has been a lot harder for me...academically, socially, personally, spiritually, and other -lly's that I might've left out. There are things that happen that will make me really happy. I'll laugh and enjoy myself, but it's short-lived. Overall I just don't feel happy or good about things. I also noticed that I turned major nerd this semester. I've always been a nerd, studying hard and all but this semester I haven't been having any fun. There are a couple nights that I'll be able to relax, but my mind is always on stuff that I could be doing, should be doing, etc. Everything I do seems to be empty motions. A lot of things don't mean anything. I could go into more depth about everything...I know that I have A LOT to say about all the ambiguous ideas I just put out, but I have a class in half an hour and I must get ready. This entire entry was one paragraph. I'm tempted to go back and break it into paragraphs, but I'll leave it because it shows how muddled and disorganized my thoughts are. I'm also tempted to go back and expand on everything I said because I don't like leaving things unfinished. But...class. Let go and let God...easier said than done.