I'm listening to the Guys and Dolls soundtrack right now. Oh such wonderful memories. They make me smile =].








I'm in such theater withdrawl.

Today in my mailbox I got a plastic, pink easter egg that had hershey kisses and skittles inside. There was also a tiny strip of paper that said "Hi Stephanie, hope you are doing well and still acting." And there was no indication of who it came from. Odd?

And it's funny because I was just recently thinking how much I miss theater. And not just miss it in a "I have such fond memories of acting" type of way. But I really, truely freaking miss it. I just want to get on stage and act and run around and be IN a theater and smell the theater air and pull long nights and bitch about it but then laugh about the good times and I want to be someone different and I want to sing and dance and I want to wear stage makeup and random costumes and I want the lights shining in my face and I want to hear theater music and theater voices and I just want to PERFORM so badly. We had auditions for Cabaret this Sunday and I was going to try out but then I remembered I'm a terrible singer. I really do lament my poor singing abilities because musicals are so much fun to be in.

This past weekend I helped out at the District 7450 RYLA Conference. It was pretty much terrible. The conference wasn't even a Rotary designed conference. They were at this place called the Freedom Foundation that basically educates people about American history and civil service, and they conduct weekend long conferences for a bunch of different high schools. And this past weekend was just another one of those conferences but instead it was called RYLA. The entire weekend was about civil service, which is great, but that's not RYLA. There were no leadership workshops, and the only *barely* redeeming factor was a talk given by a Rotarian about Rotary and a pretty cool culture walk. But the entire weekend had NOTHING to do with Rotary or leadership or Interact.

Wowowowowoowowowowow I have to do homework now.

I can never tell someone when I'm annoyed with them. *sigh.* I just let it sit. And stew. Stew stew stew. And then maybe a year later I'll tell them how I felt a year ago.

I hate philosophy. No one cares about the thingness of a thing. "But how does the thing presence? The thing things. Thinging gathers. Appropriating the fourfold, it gathers the fourfold's stay, its while, into something that stays for a while: into this thing, that thing." SHUT THE !#@$ UP. Heidegger should've kept his thoughts to himself.

The snow is starting to melt like crazy. Black ice is everywhere, and it's going to be the cause of my death. Walking out of my apartment today, on the way to jump rope class, I found myself lying flat on my back. Ouch. At least it was a nice night.

Hey kids, I'm giving up facebook, aim, and blog checking for Lent (which starts tomorrow), so if you wannt reach me call/email me! I'll do the same to you because I don't fancy emerging from Lent with no more friends. I was going to give up blogging also, but I would still be journaling anyways...I just wouldn't be publishing it online. Soooooooo I guess you could talk to me through my comment box which some of you do anyways. But that's lame. haha, j/k.

Sunday night I went to go see "Nerds://A Musical Software Satire." Freaking hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing the entire time.



It's a musical story that traces the lives of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs starting from their days as college inventors to their roles as huge computer moguls.

These next two and a half weeks before spring break are going to be tough, to say the least. I'm trying to avoid thinking about it.

A lot of times when I can't stay awake in class I pinch myself on my forearm around the wrist area. I had to do that today in Romantic Poetry. I think it works some of the time. But you really can't be afraid to hurt yourself. You have to pinch really hard till you feel excruciating pain. It can't just hurt...it has to make you squirm and cringe. Well after class today I had to participate in a Psych experiment, and when I rolled up my sleeves I realized how sketchy the situation was because it looked like I was a victim of relationship abuse or was a self-mutilator. On a side note, the psych experiment was extremely uncomfortable, intense, and painful.

Shameless plug because I love JoeChai. Check out his band:

http://profile.myspace.com/missvintage

or

Click the Miss Vintage link to the right under the heading Friends.

They're pretty much awesome. If you like their stuff and want to support a talented bunch of young, struggling, starving (haha) artists, then buy their CD, Runways, when it comes out on March 2nd. And if you want to help me support them, then buy one for me too. J/k, I joke. They also have a list of concert dates...nothing happening in NorCal but a couple gigs in Socal. A bunch on the East Coast, but I don't think that concerns any of my blog readers. And no, they're not a Christian band. They're all Christian guys, but they don't play Christian music.

I was talking to my friend today about Haverford...I just realized that people here talk about the dynamics of our school a lot, a freaking lot...anyways we were basically just talking about how everyone here works really hard. And that may seem like a retarded statement to make because well my school isn't a dumb school so why wouldn't we work hard? I mean, the kids here are smart. But really more than that, everyone here works hard, often overachieves (which can be annoying but I might possibly fall in this category some of the time so I can't hate), and does a ridiculous amount of activities also. We're not a school where everyone is smart without trying. People work hard to get where they're at, and they're sincerely dedicated to everything they do. And when the presidential candidates came to meet our community, every single one of them touched on that point. They all talked about how Haverford is very well respected outside our community and that we're known/valued for being hard workers, and I'm not saying that to be cocky, but it's something the students here don't really think about and don't really know either.

Last year I often wondered wtheck I was doing here. Why did they let me in? I've always found it a little frustrating when people who don't do ANYTHING at all still excel in everything they do. And of course good for them, they're talented people, but at the same time there's still a feeling of injustice...like why do I have to do ten times as much work for the same result. But thinking about this now I know that even if I could do the minimum to get the desired result, I wouldn't. I'd work my butt off. This is why I can't do pass/fail classes because even if I took a class p/f I wouldn't work any less hard or be any less concerned...I'd still work as if I was trying to get a 4.0. I think I like working hard. I guess a lot of people equivocate that with being under constant stress and are always telling me to chill or take a break. Which I probably should do more often, but it's really not so bad. I'm quite okay with the way I am =]. Now I see it's a good thing I'm not naturally good at everything, otherwise I don't think I could live with myself and might have to throw myself off of a cliff so a Taco Bell truck can run me over.

Anywho. I'm done with that now. I'm going to do hw. hahahaha how many of my entries do I end with "I'm going to do work now." Probably like a gajillion-million huh?

Snow day! Chinese class cancelled! With any luck, Romantic Poetry will be cancelled too. With more luck the entire school will shut down.

Dang, living in Cali my whole life, I've been missing out on days like these. It's what every kid lives for. And I include college student in my definition of kid.

HOLY SMUCKERS It has been snowing ALL freaking day. It is absolutely gorgeous outside, and by the time midnight rolls around tonight there's going to be SO much snow and it is going to be FREAKING PERFECT to play in. I'M PSYCHED. My experience with snow has been confined to playing in snow showers at night and then waking up to complete whiteness everywhere. But THIS is big. THIS is exciting. I've been watching the snow slowly pile up and I will have the ULTIMATE snow adventures tonight. Needless to say, I don't see much work getting done tonight. Or well if it does get done, then sleep goes out the window. BUT SLEEP IS FOR THE DEAD.

I really like sitting in front of my desk when the heater is on because the vent is right under the desk and my feet are always so toasty =]. How I love to love the small things in life. You should all do the same. I think I'm sort of a small person. LOVE ME!

<33333333333333333333333333333333333333 LOVE LOVE LOVE

Dude it's Valentine's Day on Wednesday. I'm going to burn shit. hahahaha, j/k. I'm not an angry person. Except for Sunday night, er Monday morning ish. I was angry then. But I didn't burn anything.

I'm gonna crackdown on homework now like Scruff McGruff cracks down on crime. []Deeeeeace.

I'm angry.

And I'm about to start my Chinese test.

I got trashed tonight. And then I became best friends with my toilet and threw up my entire digestive system.






























Just kidding. I went to Bible study (book of James), read Blake, studied for my Chinese test, watched a snippet of The Fellowship of the Ring, shoved a chopped up orange down my garbage disposal to make it smell better, and watched Captain Planet. And now I'm going to bed. Good night lovelies.

The Haverford presidential search committee just picked our new president. I'm in shock.

I'm also important because I'm only one of five people who knows right now =].

Which doesn't matter all that much because what am I going to do with this information anyways. Market it on eBay?

Ever since I got put on this news beat I've been so invested in the whole process. I usually don't get very involved in school politics but this presidential search has consumed so much of my time and energy that I've developed really strong opinions about the process and the final candidates. I have a lot to say but this blog is too public, so I'll reserve my opinion for a later entry after the final decision has been released to the school.

I just had a nice lunch with my sister at a Thai restaurant. I'm seeing her significantly less this year...partly because she's so busy with hospital rotations and partly because my classes are kicking my ass so I work a lot more. I miss cooking dinner with her. It's taken us awhile to get this good at it. Today she brought up the fact that I'm going to graduate in two years. Uhm, I think I just started college. I better not blink again or else it'll be over.

Question. Why are thin mints SO ORGASMICALLY OUT OF THIS WORLD GOOD. I am infatuated.

Oh, and if you haven't seen Harry Potter's new image, check it out here. Scroll down to where it says "Dan as you've never seen him before":

http://mugglenet.com/app/news/archive/2007/01

Since the very beginning I've told people that Harry Potter is a hottie. And since the very beginning I've been made fun and called a cradle robber. What now bitches. J/k. But was I right or was I right? Anyways, those pictures are basically how close can we get to showing Harry Potter naked without it being X-rated. Pretty freaking close.

I have much work to do today but that's like me every day so what else is new. Best get to it. []Deace.

My English professor talking about Blake's poem "Milton" in class...

"The world of Generation is eating, fucking, and shitting. We're just animals. It's about transmitting DNA and after that who cares?"

On a completely unrelated note, my hair looks like a lion's mane, my skin is like a crocodile's, my face is like a turnip, and the rest of me is like a popsicle. I feel pretty. Three cheers for winter.

I'm getting baptized this semester, so my pastor gave me a book to read to prepare me. We're going to be meeting up once a week to discuss the material and how it relates to what I want to do, which will hopefully take place after spring break in March. We had our first meeting last night...It's like I'm relearning my faith (back to basics) so that I can take the next step in it. It was a good evening with enlightening conversation, but it really drained me and I felt like I couldn't focus on work afterwards.

I think I'm stretching myself too thin. I feel worn out. I really do. And it's only the third week of school? I'm not here to whine and bitch and moan. I'm just...tired. Really tired. Physically because I'm not getting enough sleep. And mentally because there's so much going on in my head. I'm trying to sort everything out. I've never felt before that there were not enough hours in a day, as I do now. I've been busy and overwhelmed before but now even when I'm structuring my days and scheduling hour by hour I can't seem to get everything done. I'm getting many many emails from Rotarians who I've emailed to help with Rotaract. But I don't know what I want to do/don't have the time to answer them, so I've been ignoring the emails. I got an email yesterday from a Rotarian that was basically one line "Have you been getting my emails? Call me." Shoot. Maybe I need to give something up. But I have no idea what that would be. Maybe I just need to work faster. And stop blogging. hah.

I had a moment of stress stress stress for about 45 minutes last night. But then we went to go surprise Paul at midnight for his birthday, and that's always fun =].

I took my independent study class for granted last semester. Now I have four classes which I actually have to attend.

Class in an hour. There's snow outside.

Shit. It's freaking freezing. Like 10 degrees Farenheit freezing.

Due to recent complaints that my blog is over dramatic, this entry is going to be completely void of any sort of personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This is a picture of a parsnip:




(By the way, you can count this as a half-appearance. Combined with the last entry, you have one more whole appearance).

This week is gonna be a fresh start for me. I've been slacking like crazy for the past two weeks...wasting my time, wasting my life. Today marks the dawn of a new age of productivity in my life. Don't laugh. I'm not being sarcastic or over dramatic. These past two weeks have seriously annoyed me to all ends, but I'm changing that now.

Oh and I love how people identify the smell of Trident tropical splash gum with my presence. It's totally my trademark now, and I love it =].

I just got a random phone call from Jo! How special <3

You know what I hate? Blog posts with excessive amounts of smileys, hearts, hehehes (and variations of that like haha and keke), lols, asian faces like this ^_^ (it took me like 15 tries to make that by the way), and other girly things that make me cringe.

So my apologies for ending two paragraphs with a smiley and a heart. I just don't have the energy to think of other ways to express myself. So I went the retarded route.

Sometimes I think I'm hypercritical. Ew am I one of those people? That's kind of repulsivec. hahahahaha this topic in itself is hypercritical. I'm such a loser sometimes it makes me laugh.

You know what I realized I don't like? When people talk about getting drunk and what they did when they got drunk. I honestly don't really like talking about drinking. But this also isn't a universal statement because I often get a kick out of hearing people's funny drunken adventures. I guess it depends on the person. Usually when I think very highly of someone and then they tell me about drinking, I get kind of turned off. But there are some friends who I know are pretty crazy and I love hearing their stories. It's not that I think less of them, but I guess other friends I sort of have on a pedestal and when I hear about their drinking adventures, I get a little let down. Not that my opinion of them drops; I still think they're great but I guess I'm a tad disappointed. I don't know why either. It's not like I think I'm flawless; I'm sure I'm a great disappointment to many people.

I just reread what I wrote. I lied so much. There are quite a few people I love to death and think ridiculously highly of and are some of my closest friends, and they amuse me a lot with their drunk stories.

This entry was pointless.

I would delete it except for the fact that I like looking back on my old entries and saying "wtf was I thinking." It makes me feel as if I've come a long way and I'm much better now than I was before.

So ignore everything I said. TELL ME YOUR DRUNKEN STORIES! THEY MAKE ME LAUGH!

Also when I hear about drinking I'm caught between "Dang that sounds like a lot of fun; I wish I was there," and "No I don't drink. I stopped that, remember?" So until I decide to fall into super deep sin again, which I'm already in because that's my nature, but I mean even deeper into one of Dante's circles, continue to tell me your stories for I will not have any of my own to share. ENTERTAIN ME! I LOVE IT!

I never turn in my news articles on time. I bet my editor hates me. Too bad they need me because I'm covering the presidential search. I'M IMPORTANT. HAAHAHAH. I joke. Well I am covering our presidential search but I'm not that important. I'm sure I'm easily replaceable.

I just finished changing the toner for a printer. This was the first time I've changed toner in my entire life...and I did it all by myself. I'm proud. And I'm not trying to sound retarded. I really am proud. I didn't think I would figure it out. I mean, people are counting on me! If I don't change the toner, then they can't print anything. And who knows what people may need to print? Homework assignments, readings, essays, job applications, top secret CIA papers, etc. The bottom line is it's all very important. And the one thing standing between them and their documents is TONER. And the one person who can prevent disaster in these young adult lives is ME. Well Jesus can do more for them, but He doesn't change their toner which is what they need right now. That's not to say He couldn't. I'm sure He could. But anyways this is not the point. So just when things were starting to get bad, my wonderful Haverford-educated mind kicked in just in time. All of a sudden I knew exactly what to do. I opened the toner, ripped out the silver strip, took out the old toner, and effortlessly slid in the new one. Job well done Stephanie, job well done.