The following two pictures were the highlight of my externship:
You might be thinking, "wtheck. It's just a wall with an eagle and a basketball court." Oh no my friend. It is much more than that. That wall and that basketball court are in the opening scene of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. When he's rapping about growing up in West Philly and playing basketball, that's the place. AND I WAS THERE. I was standing in a sacred, historical site and loving every minute of it. But yo, that place isn't even in West Philly. It's the south end of North Philly. Funny that.
Another highlight of my externship was going to this great "junk-art" place on South Street. This guy bought out an empty lot and basically turned it into a piece of art using random junk like tires, bottles, and broken glass.
He's also made his entire house into a piece of artwork like his workplace. Except his bedroom. Apparently his wife wouldn't let him.
He also does random pieces of glasswork on walls around the South street area.
He's pretty baller. Philly is awesome; everyone should come visit me. I'll show you a good time. That sounds dirty. Get your mind out of the gutter.
In other news, I've joined the leadership team for IV next year. Quite exciting.
ahahahahahah I need to tell a story. This is random but I thought of this right in the middle of talking about IV leadership. So I'll just follow my train of thought and digress. I started drinking coffee this week. I really don't know why. It didn't really affect me for the first three days, but on Thursday I think my body decided it couldn't handle it anymore. I was so riduclously shaky and jittery all morning. I couldn't sit still and my hands were literally shaking. I felt like my head was in the clouds and my thoughts were so scattered. Anyways, I think I'm going to quit while I'm ahead. Plus, if I made coffee a habit my teeth could potentially become disgustingly yellow. And then I'd have to kill myself. J/k.
So back to IV leadership. Joel approached me before spring break and said that I had been nominated to be a part of next year's leadership team. I was hesitant at first because even though I know I would grow so much, I also knew it'd be a huge time commitment. I've been doing Bible study this year but I don't always go to Friday night large group. And I don't attend all the weekend conferences and retreats. Then there's leader meetings and what not. So if I decided to do leadership I'd really have to dedicate myself. But why wouldn't I want to? The rewards would be more than worth it. But then I had the thought: how can I lead others when I need so much leading myself? I have so many questions and I myself need all the guidance I can get. But looking at it that way, when is a good time for me to lead others then? I'll never have all my questions answered. I hope I never become complacent enough to say "I'm good where I am. It's time to help others." I'm always praying for a heart that wants to seek God and for continual growth and change in my life. Maybe this is it.
Thursday night during Bible study we read James 3, and I totally felt that James 3:1 was directed right at me. It says, "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." Is that screaming at me or what? When I compare myself to this year's leaders I feel that I fall sooooo short. And I realize that that doesn't matter because I'm not being judged before them and in the end we all fall short of God's glory. But I realized that I need to take a look at my life and ask myself how Christ's work in me is manifested in my actions and relationships with others. Does my lifestyle reflect what I believe and God's glory? Sometimes it does, but a lot of times it doesn't. And I shouldn't need an excuse besides God to want to make a change in my life but maybe this is the perfect excuse...maybe it's God's way of calling me to my senses.
One thing we talked about in small group was how we reach out to others. I think a lot of the things I do, I do because I want people to know that being a Christian is not synonymous with being an anti-social, obscure, alien. During church a couple weeks ago, Pastor Steve was talking about surrounding ourselves with Christian friends and distancing ourselves from "those walking in idleness." He preached about being a good influence from afar, and I don't completely agree with that. I do agree that if your close circle of friends are not believers, you do run the risk of being influenced into sin, but I also think that saying you can be a good influence from afar is much different than actually doing it. Because I don't think people will take you seriously if you can't relate to them. And I think that's why I do a lot of the things I do. I'm not saying that everything I do is for the sole purpose of "fitting in" (w/e that means) or relating to people. But I feel that it does give me an advantage in that people won't think I'm judging them or that I'm on a completely different planet. By doing the things I do I can say "hey I go through the same stuff. I know what you mean. I've been there. etc." During small group a lot of the other IV kids were saying that they want to break down the negative stereotypes attached with being a Christian. I guess the danger in that is you might be compromising your beliefs and that you end up getting sucked into the wrong lifestyle. I don't want to create the impression that I want to cover up my faith because that's not the case. It's about how I strike that balance between keeping my faith and what I believe yet still being able to relate to others on their terms in ways that they can understand. In the Screwtape Letters C.S. Lewis talks about how we are often afrraid to be perceived as extreme Christians. But really what's wrong with that? That only indicates the level of our faith and that's where we all strive to be. But oftentimes I do find that when I feel myself getting closer to God, I instinctively pull away because there's this hovering uncertainty of what I'm getting myself into. And even though I know only great things wait for me at the end, I know it's not an easy journey and sometimes I'd rather take the easier, more well-traveled path. I guess the catch is to know that I'm not in it alone.
I forgot why I brought that up. Something to do with how I need to change my life, especially if I'm going to be a leader next year. Something like that. I always end up about twenty miles south of the original point I was making. Sometimes 21.75 miles. And sometimes it's more like Southeast. Some of you might be thinking that I'm making too much of a big deal out of this. After all, it's just leadership right? I attend a couple more meetings, lead a few Bible studies, go to a few more conferences/retreats. No big right? Why all the fuss? Well I see being a leader as more than just committing more time to IV. It's a deeper spiritual commitment and that is definitely a big deal. It's a commitment that goes beyond what I fit into my daily planner. So yeah, it's a big deal and I'm taking it seriously. But I'm also eager and excited for the changes God will bring.
I got my hair cut today. Eh, I don't like it that much. Could be that I'm just not used to having short hair. It's been awhile. When it grows longer I'm going to get it restyled. I think it just looks really bland now. Ahhhh I miss my long hair. Sort of.
My sister bought me a watch today as a much belated birthday gift. It's pretty P-I-M-P-ing.
I was talking to Joel the other night about a difficult decision that I have to make. And being the freaking amazing friend that he is, Joel automatically said, "You mean God's decision right? Not yours." I was like oh snap Joel Kwabi you are the man. I realized that as much as I pray about being open and accepting to God's will, how much do my actions actually say that's what I want to be done? I mean it sincerely in my prayers but as I go about my day and as I talk to people about what's going on and as I'm confronted with situations, how do I act? How do I deal with them? How do I make myself open to His will? If I'm only praying for an open heart that doesn't cut it. I'm not devaluing prayer; I'm just saying that my actions have to reflect what I'm praying about.
This entry is getting long. This is what happens when I don't blog every day. I save it all up.
Sometimes I think I just need to take a chance. I don't take very many risks in my life. Maybe I should once in awhile. A lot of really great things come from taking chances. On the other hand, you also risk losing a lot. But I guess if you never put anything in and risk something you value then you'll never know how great the return value will be. Ah but the potential of losing everything you put in and more is enough to deter a person. Maybe I should just say what the hell and do something different for once in my life huh?
So it looks like I'm going to be home for exactly 4 weeks this summer. I'm going to New York for a week of IV chapter camp after school lets out. I'm looking forward to a time of bonding with next year's leadership team, other IV kids, and God. Should be good times. Then I fly out to Boston for Explo. FREAKING A SPEAKING OF FLYING TICKETS ARE SO EXPENSIVE. DOUBLE U TEE EFF. It's like $315 to fly multi-city round trip. Urgh.
I'm going to NY tomorrow with my Chinese class to look at art, listen to music, and eat good food. God I love that class. My Chinese friends are some of my most favorite people in this world. Aren't we cute?
I haven't done anything all week. I'm not going to do anything all weekend. I haven't had any work. School is basically begging me to not take it seriously. So I'm not. It's going to kick my butt in about three weeks though. Well I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But for now I'm going to go out and party like it's 1999.
[]Deace out.
No comments:
Post a Comment